i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
People in love make me want to vomit
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
