"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
