what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
