All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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