Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
