Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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