No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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