come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Someone came in the potted fern
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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