omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
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