Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Randomize
