Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
