I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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