Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Randomize
