i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Randomize
