Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
