I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
