thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
