You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
