he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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