I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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