apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
