As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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