There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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