So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
cat food counts as protein by the way
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
