dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Randomize
