wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
She's not a foreskin expert like you
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
