I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
