When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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