I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
