So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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