I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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