I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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