Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
