I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Randomize
