He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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