How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
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