he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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