I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
