I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
