Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
