I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize
