My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
