Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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