that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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