So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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