so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
