hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Randomize
