walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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