it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
