I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
