what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
