i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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