I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
