She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
